Meet one of our protagonists, Myra, as she tries to hide from her former best friend, Zahir, before they must band together against a dangerous confrontation.
great setup chapter! the run in with the guard, the boy, & Zahir had me like omg she’s gonna get in trouble w/ Richardson! but she handled it well. Intrigued about what went down between her & Zahir (I’ve been reading & writing so many shorts that once I finished I was like wait ! where’s the backstory?! why is Zahir mad?!) then I was like “ouuu, wait, she knows how to keep you reading” 😂
Loved it! Interesting to find out more about the world - the planet dying must have its consequences. I also love the names! Especially Um Samar, I’ve never seen Umm used in a book before, I think only one time. Excited for the next chapter :)
Yayy!! I’m so glad you picked up on that! I really wanted to include some Arab cultural things in the story, like food, names, etc. I think we always default to a very European model, so I wanted to move away from that in an intentional way. Thank you so much for your comment :))))
I was most interested in the pressure Myra is under, how every choice feels like it could cost her access to a future she hasn’t even secured yet. That tension came through clearly, especially in the scene. with the boy and the guard. She steps in because she has to, even knowing it’s the kind of decision that could be used against her later.
The dynamic with Zahir also held my attention. There’s history there, but it doesn’t resolve cleanly, which I appreciated. It feels like both of them are operating from different kinds of risk, and neither is entirely wrong.
Yes!! I’m really glad the Myra/Zahir dynamic came across like that for you. It’s always hard to know how slow/fast to drop information to keep it engaging for the reader and not confusing. The next chapter for Myra will definitely expand on this more!!
I liked how alive the world felt in this. The city, the tension, and the relationship between Myra and Zahir all felt very believable.
thank you so much!!!!
Excellent writing! 💯 I’m glad that Faisal was successfully rescued!
thank you!!!
You’re welcome! And thanks for writing this story and for making it available to us readers! 💯
That is so kind of you to say 😊
What a great start to a novel.
why thank you!!!!! :))
❤️Intriguing. I got questions? I’ll be reading more.
Thank you for reading!!
great setup chapter! the run in with the guard, the boy, & Zahir had me like omg she’s gonna get in trouble w/ Richardson! but she handled it well. Intrigued about what went down between her & Zahir (I’ve been reading & writing so many shorts that once I finished I was like wait ! where’s the backstory?! why is Zahir mad?!) then I was like “ouuu, wait, she knows how to keep you reading” 😂
Hahaha I’m so glad you are intrigued!! Yes, the tea will be revealed soon…
I liked the friendships and family connections, they made the piece warm. I also liked the bad guy - he was very unlikable, just as he ought to be!
Yes, family and friends are huge in this story! Thank you for reading!
https://substack.com/@ronnalapray?r=5c8j5x&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile
“I don’t need your kind of help.” OK BUDDY. Man needs to pull his head out of his ass. lol
I finally got a free moment to start reading this story. I’m invested. ❤️
omg how did i miss this??! thank you so much for reading!!! yes zahir needs to get his act together…
Loved it! Interesting to find out more about the world - the planet dying must have its consequences. I also love the names! Especially Um Samar, I’ve never seen Umm used in a book before, I think only one time. Excited for the next chapter :)
Yayy!! I’m so glad you picked up on that! I really wanted to include some Arab cultural things in the story, like food, names, etc. I think we always default to a very European model, so I wanted to move away from that in an intentional way. Thank you so much for your comment :))))
I was most interested in the pressure Myra is under, how every choice feels like it could cost her access to a future she hasn’t even secured yet. That tension came through clearly, especially in the scene. with the boy and the guard. She steps in because she has to, even knowing it’s the kind of decision that could be used against her later.
The dynamic with Zahir also held my attention. There’s history there, but it doesn’t resolve cleanly, which I appreciated. It feels like both of them are operating from different kinds of risk, and neither is entirely wrong.
Yes!! I’m really glad the Myra/Zahir dynamic came across like that for you. It’s always hard to know how slow/fast to drop information to keep it engaging for the reader and not confusing. The next chapter for Myra will definitely expand on this more!!
Thanks! There are approximately 22 chapters!
I’ve had a couple early readers, but no one doing really in depth edits!
I’m not currently looking for an editor, but I appreciate this offer, thank you!
YAYY ty!!